camo shorts.
-cam
im oc. kinda crazy. but ima say what i think
my girl and best friend go to unc. my friends are all away at college. im at home at community college, ive got a good gpa and an internship, but it hasnt amounted to anything yet. next years going to be the worst. my girls gonna be living her life, im gonna be living mine, which is fine, but shes gonna end up finding some dude. thats how it always works, so im not gonna be too surprised when i get that phone call that says “we need to talk”. my best friend miles doesnt talk to me anymore, my brother, my own blood, doesnt talk to me anymore, my friends around here smoke 24/7, which is cool i guess… but im not that into it.. i just do it to let me relax my mind. but the thing is if i relax my mind i tend to become forgetful , and i cant risk that. i need my mind on straight, if i dont get into a good school after fuckin wack as MC then im fucked. i cant end up failing. that shsit just cant happen. people like my photos… i guess thats cool. but nobody i really want to see them ever does. Im still just going through the motions and havent progressed in months. people also kinda like my videos, but i still feel like noone really appreciated it. i got like 0 likes on fb on the one i posted before. i think its cause im not good at it, but its fun so whatever, i thought it was decent… but yea, i wont be posting anymore of those anymore i guess.back to next year. the highlights will be when i transfer, when bay leaves. ill get over it eventually, but its gonna suck knowing my best friend gets to see her every other day, and i dont..
im the only one in my class who’s at a community college. somehow im not surprised, i always come up short. no matter what. im emotional and it blows me, im a fuckin fruit. i say it everyday but i wish i had tried in hs. its not that it was hard, i took easy classses -____-, i just didnt give a fuck. i hate talkin to bay about college. im selfish but idc. it doesnt make a difference. shes still gonna leave me. i try to be supportive, but it hurts man. when i see her and aaron talk about it i cry inside like a little bitch. goddamn.
also i realized that i dont believe in most the stuff in the bible. it doesnt make sense to me.. i could go on for days about that but i wont. i just think theres a high power, but ill leave it at that. i wish i could write lyrics. i suck at that too. damn whatever im done.
i hate life sometimes. im not suicidal or anything, but i feel like im alone. i have family, a wife and allthat, but still. knowing a golden time is bouta turn dark could make anyone go crazy, i think im in that faze. i just wanna live but it sucks knowing my years bouta just be miserable.. i gotta keep trying though..
